


oleander

by thefigureinthecorner



Category: My Candy Love
Genre: Angst, But mostly angst, Some Fluff, both the candies in this are nonbinary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-22 06:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7424272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefigureinthecorner/pseuds/thefigureinthecorner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some AUs for episodes 30 and 31. Spoilers, obviously, for those episodes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. oops

**Author's Note:**

> Lysander Dies AU; Second Person POV where the reader is Castiel.

He bled into his brain.

That’s the explanation the doctors give when they come out after two hours with grim faces. That they did everything they could, but in the end they couldn’t save him. His injuries were too severe; he was under anaesthesia, so he died peacefully and painlessly.

You think you’re pretty sure that’s bullshit.

Really, you don’t know what you think. Rosa, Leigh, and Josiane are crying on one side of you, which is jarring because Leigh almost never shows that much emotion; Futari and Cyrel are doing the same on the other side.

But you-- well.

You just sit there.

You want to believe this is all some sick joke, but you know it’s not; you saw Lysander lying in that road. You saw the ambulance, and the blood, and the frantic medical team, and that was completely real. This is too.

It gets a bit hard for you to breathe and you feel like you’ve been punched in the gut, as if the doctors’ words managed to physically manifest themselves into a fist.

You don’t cry, though. You don’t do anything. Everything just feels numb and surreal.

The situation processes more when Futari turns to you and buries their face in your shoulder, and suddenly you’re sitting in that uncomfortable hospital chair openly sobbing into their hair as the information truly sinks in.

Lysander’s dead.

\---

The funeral is short, and pretty small since Lysander doesn’t have many friends or a large family. His parents ask you to give a eulogy and you spend the days before the funeral trying to decide on what to say, but never get very far because you’re constantly breaking down.

On the day of, you keep having to take deep breaths to collect yourself in between sentences as you speak, but the words on the paper blur in front of you anyway as tears collect in your eyes. Eventually you just put the speech down and talk.

“He was… my best friend. And, more than that, he helped me through a lot of hard times. He helped all of us through hard times, even at his own expense, even those of us he didn’t know that well. And I, um,” you swallow, “I had, just, so much respect for him, and-” your voice breaks, and you look down. You have so much more you could say about him, so much more you want to say about him, but all you get out is an “I’ll miss him” before you have to go sit back down.

\---

A week passes. Things don’t get easier.

Your parents come home to make sure you’re actually eating enough and not neglecting yourself but you don’t really notice anything that happens around you.

\---

Weeks turn into months and you’re forced to get off your ass and actually function, even if it just means going through the motions and not much more than that.

Nathaniel excuses all your absences. Given the look on his face whenever he sees you, though, you’re pretty sure he just pities you.

You can’t blame him for that. Honestly, you do look pretty pathetic.

It’s weird how understanding he is about all this, though. Sometimes you’ll look across the room to where Lysander used to sit, grinning at some funny thing a teacher said and expecting him to grin back at you like the two of you used to do, but you’re met with an empty chair or whichever student has occupied the empty place and suddenly you’re about to cry again right there in the middle of class. You always end up staying home for a day or two after that, but Nathaniel never questions it, and he seems to have convinced the principal to cut you some slack because she doesn’t say anything either.

\---

You learn about the five stages of grief in your psych class and you want to laugh.

Anger? Bargaining? What the hell was wrong with you, then, that you skipped straight to depression?

And acceptance, well, that seemed like it was a million years away.

You bite your tongue and don’t say anything, but you can feel the teacher staring at you as he’s talking and you want to sink into the floor.

\---

You used to have bad days before Lysander’s accident, but now you have Really Bad Days.

Maybe it’s because Lysander used to help you through the bad days. Maybe it’s because ever since he died, you’ve been pushing away everyone else who cares. Maybe it’s a mix of the two, but what’s certain is that nothing seems to be getting any better.

\---

You bring him flowers one year later, lay them on top of the grave.

His dad’s grave is next to his; he didn’t make it much longer than Lysander, but you hadn’t been invited to that funeral; family-only, and you didn’t know his dad that well anyway.

Leigh had the same idea as you, apparently, since he walks up behind you and puts his hand on your shoulder. Leigh walks quietly, so you get startled and he apologizes, but that’s about all the interaction the two of you have and the two of you stand there in silence for a while.

\---

Things do get better, slowly, and only marginally, but they do.

It starts when Amber pipes up in class and says something that is obviously not intended to be funny, but for some reason it’s hilarious to you and for the life of you, you can’t stop laughing. It’s the first time in the past year and a half that you’ve laughed this hard and for once you’re in tears from something other than an old photo or a song he liked.

You’re sent out of class for being disruptive, but the teacher doesn’t sound angry with you. If anything, she sounds more relieved.

You leave feeling lighter than you have in a long time and maybe, maybe, hopefully it’ll be like this more often now.

  
  
  



	2. saw it coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -'Saw it coming' AU  
> -TW for suicidal thoughts  
> -Second person POV where the reader is Castiel, again.

“I saw the car coming.”

  
The words startled you, since the two of you had been sitting there in silence for some time. It takes you a minute to realize what he’s implying.

  
“I’m sure you were just scared and couldn’t move, is all.” You say this slowly, watching Lysander’s expression as you do. He just gives a forced smile that looks more like a grimace.

  
“No, that wasn’t it at all. I was the exact opposite of scared, really. I could have moved any time I wanted, but I just… didn’t. And I didn’t want to, either.” He takes a deep breath and pauses for a moment, winces as his expanding chest agitates one of his ribs. His face drops the happy act and he looks defeated. “I just… I wanted all of this to be over. Just, Nina, and my dad, and Leigh is so stressed out by all this that he can barely function, my mom doesn't know what to do, and I feel like I have to be there for everyone-” his voice chokes off as if he's about to start crying and he stops talking.

  
You're stunned, to say the very least. This is more vulnerable than you've ever seen Lysander, and it's so uncharacteristic that you're not certain what to say in response to that.  
You settle for gently placing a hand on his shoulder, trying not to jostle him too much.

  
“Hey, you've been there for me through a lot of shit, alright? It's about time you let me return the favor. If you need to talk, or, anything, just don't hesitate to come to me, okay? I know you have trouble opening up to people, but just… I'm here for you, and I want to help you, and you really don't have to go through all this alone. Just please, please promise me you won't do that again?”

  
He really does start crying then, turning to press his head into your neck, and you sit there carefully rubbing his back for a bit until he's done.

  
“Thank you,” he whispers once he's calmed down a bit. “I promise.”

  
Leigh walks in, stopping in the doorway when he sees the two of you. He seems confused, and you look up at him before turning back to Lysander.

  
“Leigh’s here. You should talk to him.” Lysander still hasn't moved away from your shoulder, but he nods and lets you go after another few seconds.

  
You shut the door as you leave, sliding down the wall beside it and pressing your palms into your eyes as Leigh’s voice rises in concern behind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ idk how to end things and it's 1am


End file.
